A few words
about this media mash up
mutation proclamation
how did this crazy thing happen?
By accident, I found out I could enrich the experience (beyond Brad’s illustrations at the beginning of each chapter) of the 93,000 word manuscript I wrote with Adobe InDesign’s ‘bells & whistles’ in ways I haven’t seen anyone else do in an eBook.
InDesign has been a fantastic tool for digital creatives for many years. For whatever reason, no one has given the content of fiction or nonfiction ‘story’ eBooks a real shot in the arm as far as UX or UI or even basic design. IMHO.
Not that my design style is sophisticated, it surely is not. But it’s distinct and easily digestible. And most of all, it’s MINE. Not everyone will like it or even ‘get it’, and that’s ok. Let me be clear; I had not been trained on InDesign. I was a hack.
We are in the era of tutorial videos and while I embraced that culture wholeheartedly, InDesign is a very complex tool. Enough that I often wanted to brain myself or simply throw my effing laptop out the window. I tried to hire InDesign savvy folks to build it from my instructions but couldn’t get my style across. To be fair, I didn’t even have a shoestring budget, I had a single working mom budget: teeny tiny. More hair pulling and gnashing of teeth. This led me to more investigation of other epub tools and I looked at Apple Pages once again. For whatever reason, I had not noticed the ability to animate drawings the first time I reviewed it.
While it cannot animate text frames, gifs and audio files to play in a specified progression, I believe there are enough tools that I can manipulate in ways that haven’t been used yet to convey a different way of telling a different kind of a story.
I have included the InDesign sample link to show you what could’ve been: boo, hoo, sniff, sniff….
I sourced icons and gifs online, paying to license them for commercial use. The real fun was hiring Fiverr folks to build custom gifs designed just for me. I sourced some of the audio but voiced much of it myself to get exactly what I was looking for. I did all the audio farther down on this page.
I took all of the photos in the eBook and on this site, except where noted, such as my son Aubrey’s epic BC coast sunset photos. I don’t use any filters or make any adjustments to the photos.
The 52 chapter manuscript will be issued in 6 episodes of about 9 chapters / 75 pages, hopefully around the end of 2021. When formatted in InDesign it would’ve been about 450MB each. We will see what size it will be when built in Pages. This type of ePub file can be read through Apple Books and another reader {Thorium} that is not IOS dependent [so Apple can kiss your ass!]. Kindle readers use MOBI files and cannot read ePub files, so please don’t ask if this will be a Kindle book.
FACT: Not all ebook readers are created equal.
FACT: Pages CANNOT do what I need to do; back to InDesign I go.
QUEST for the right fit with some badass InD pros…
Come on DOWN!

Alexine Cleans is a down-to-earth, fictional story about a recently fired 51 year old woman whose car just died and now she’s cleaning houses for a living; while her 14 year old son is away, somewhere, after a series of reckless adventures.
This full spectrum view of her life includes dogs, fat thighs, online dating, sex, brown people, white people, and feeling relevant at her age, body mass index and annual income level. Quotes from Pulp Fiction, Eddie Murphy, Tom Waits and Stan Ridgeway, among others, pop into her head without the mention of Generation X.

with a sense of humor that straddles the US-Canadian border
more titles to come...
- Alexine Delivers - delivering mail & delivering a dying loved one over the border to family
- Alexine Schemes - MLM | Amway Ninjas like you've never seen
- Alexine Serves - serving smiles, F&B (the food and beverage industry) behind the scenes
- Alexine Airs - corporate chaos (stupidity really) radio in small town
- Alexine Goes Off Grid - oyster farming on BC's coast
- That's why this site is Alexine Reads, not Cleans!
seriously though...
IF THIS DOESN’T SHOW YOU THAT
DAMN NEAR ANYONE CAN DO
DAMN NEAR ANYTHING…
NOTHING WILL!